in winter when you walk you hear and feel the the snow crushing under your feet, in summer you feel nothing, the cold sterilizes the air, i take the subway to work every morning, i enjoy the cold faces nobody talks, i try to blend in, in the evening i eat across the street from my home. i like to be a part of the working class, then i sing karaoke by myself, i keep ordering until i get escorted out. this becomes a routine. it becomes my life, it’s me now. im awake at nights i walk on ice i hope to break in, i never break, i feel cold, stiff when the only human touch is my own. the ice never melts. and i feel unbeaten, a rush of love pumps threw my vanes, euphoric love towards everyone. every creature every stone, the image created knows no difference.
sun breaks threw the clouds, the dust of month hidden in ice breaks free moves across
the streets. the love i felt attached predators, i performed well, but i prefer my own hand over the crows. everyone eats a piece of me my brain is inprisoned. my body too the love once felt lost and replaced by desperation, loneliness sets in, breakfast at sunday something to look forward to, small things become the only light, silent mumbles of fear becoming my routine my life, regret my despite, i fail to make the right desiccations, im loosing it, i already bare scars i wank to much, it hurts and only cures for a few moments, moments of clear view, followed by regret, people know me i don’t want to be known, i want to hide in the cold faces of the metro, the crowd my salvation.